Dear Counsellor:

I am a school youth. I could describe myself as very handsome and because of this I am having a lot of problem with girls. They are all over me. This particular girl that I like is always inviting me to her house. She lives with her mother and her mother works as a security guard so she is out most nights. Sometimes I go to the girl's house and we study together. She is very good at mathematics and I do the sciences well. We surf the Internet and play computer games.

I try to keep the relationship clean because I also attend church but I am not yet a Christian. Counsellor, this girl is crazy and wants to have sex. Sometimes we would be there and she just leaves our study area and comes back naked. One night I had to run from her. My problem now, counsellor, is that she is telling her friends that I am soft. What should I do? She says it is safe for us to have sex because she is on the pill?

Concerned School Youth

Dear Concerned School Youth:

Do not be tempted by this girl. chances are she could have extended this invitation to other men, since she feels safe because she is on the pill. The pill is only a family-planning method, preventing her from having unwanted children, but will not prevent either of you from contracting HIV and other sexually transmitted infections.

Don't worry about your friends calling you soft. You should know who you are and, most important, who you want to be. Keep focused and do not allow anyone to force you into something that could have lasting and serious consequences.