I live in the USA and I am 21 years old. I am currently pregnant and I still have not told my family. My family members are Jamaicans. My mother found out from a letter I got from my insurance company. She confronted me and I told her yes and she got mad, so we do not speak to each other. I stay away from her and she does the same. She never asked me anything about the pregnancy, but she makes comments around the house, like, "you are on your way out of here".

Jobless

My relationship with my boyfriend is ok. But if she decides to put me out I do not have the money to find a place because I just got laid off from my job and I am currently in college as a full-time student. I do not know what to do because my grandmother is the head of the household and every day she says she does not want more children in her place.

How do I go about dealing with this problem? I have my boyfriend, but I want to be independent and not move in with him because I want to do things for myself. Living with my family, I have to pay rent, but it is not that expensive.

My mother's situation is bothering me because I am the only child and I heard that she told someone that I am a disappointment. I feel so depressed with this situation because I do not see a way out of this problem.

Tell me what I can do pastor, please. Thanks a lot.

S.W., New York, USA

Dear S. W.,

Try your very best to make peace with your mother. You may think she is overreacting but you will have to understand that, indeed, she is disappointed. She has condemned you but she has expressed how she feels about the situation. She expected that if you were sexually active you would have protected yourself. You should speak to your grandmother and lay out everything.

Tell her you are sorry for what has happened, but you need her help. If you were to approach your grandmother in humility, I am sure that she would do her best to help you.

Made a mistake,

You made a mistake, but I hope you will not quit college. You may have to go and see the academic dean, etc. But, the college, I am sure, would work with you and eventually you would graduate.

You have made the correct decision to not shack up with your boyfriend. Sometimes when pregnant women move in with their men, life becomes much more stressful.

The boyfriends expect them to wash and clean and at the same time take care of the children. And the guys watch sports on television and sometimes even smoke pot.

Pastor.