Dear Pastor,

My friend was in prison for 10 years in the USA after he was deported t o Jamaica. I have visited him on three consecutive occasions and, on each occasion, we have fights. He says that he loves me, but he is always secretive about a lot of things. If he makes phone calls, he goes outside, even if we are lying on the bed.

The second time I visited, I found a woman's dress in his cupboard. When I showed it to him, he said he never saw it before. The third time I visited, while on the MySpace page, I saw that he was writing to girls and they were fighting over him. One of them was even calling him on his cell and emailing him. In one such email, he wrote that he loves her. When I confronted him, he said he was playing with these girls because how could he love them when he does not even know who they are? Yet, he had a picture of the naked girl in the shower and one of her on the bed.

He also said that he was frustrated as he could not obtain a job in Jamaica due to his deportee status. He has nothing to do but play on the computer. Pastor, I have seen that he has been applying for jobs. even when I was there, he went on an interview.

NEXT VISIT

I waited for him all this time and I feel as if he wants to move on with his life. Yet, he tells me each night, when we speak to each other, that he loves me. I am a little confused at this time. Please, give me a little assistance.

Speedy, USA

Dear Speedy,

This man has other women in his life and they are not just social friends. If you want to believe his lies, it is totally up to you, but just understand that he is not coming clean to you. He is sleeping with other women. He has his reasons why he wants you to hang on. Perhaps you are sending him money.

Pastor