Earlier this week a good friend of mine turned 40. I forgot to call her to wish her happy birthday but she took the time out to call to remind me that I forgot to call.

We engaged a bit in the usual banter friends get into when it comes to birthdays, especially that big 4-0 that nobody wants to be but they inevitably get to, no matter how much they kick and scream.

My friend was undecided over what to do to mark the occasion (I don't know anyone who really celebrates getting to middle age) so I suggested that maybe some sexual activity was in order. You can never have too much sex is what I believe. And what better way to mark the day you were thrust forth onto this planet kicking and screaming than to re-enact the ritual that was responsible for your very existence, though not with the same intent. There is nothing quite like an unwanted pregnancy. That's a mistake that stays with you for life, eating you out of house and home.

As I expressed my recommendations, it struck me that if the experts are truly correct my friend was in her sexual prime. Life begins at 40 they say and whoever came up with that saying was most likely a woman.

Sexual best

At 40, a woman is supposed to be at her sexual best. Men, on the other hand, start experiencing something of a sexual downturn. And they say that God must be a man. Who are they kidding?

When you look at the facts, God is definitely not a man. If he is, he is a cruel God indeed.

A closer look at the available data suggests that men get to their sexual peak in a hurry - between the ages of 18 and 25. That's the time when most guys are in college or just entering the world of work. So instead of concentrating on their books or getting ahead at their place of employment, men spend most of their time seeking fulfilment of a more immediate nature.

Is it any wonder then that in this day and age when men seem to be feeling their oats more than at any time during modern history, that women are outpacing them at the tertiary level and at the workplace? If not for the 'old boys' club women would already be ruling the world. Not that that is such a bad thing.

Well established

Women don't get to their sexual peak until long after they leave school and are in the working world. By the time they get to 35 many of them are well established in their professions and can afford to spend some time looking for love - well, sexual satisfaction at any rate.

By this time when women are in their sexual prime many men are battling swollen prostates, weight issues and a whole host of problems that get into their heads enough to trigger all kinds of erectile dysfunction.

Ever wonder why men, Caribbean men especially watch so much porn? It's because if they can't get it working right the least they can do is watch someone who can.

Now isn't that a cruel irony? At a time when most single women in their late 30s and early 40s are looking for a good roll in the hay, many men their age are out hunting prescriptions for Viagra and Cialis. And that is only "if you're healthy enough for sexual activity". So while the woman is hitting her stride sexually, a man her age is forced to do his damndest just to be able to keep her happy.

Only a god who is female would be capable of that kind of cruelty.

P.S. By the way, it was my friend's birthday that prompted this rant, but while writing I came to realise that this column is going to be published on January 16, the day after the birthday of the most special person in the world. So Happy birthday Mom!!!

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