Dear Pastor,

I am an 18-year-old university student. My studies are going fine. What troubles me is that I've been dating a 22-year-old young man for about five months. Everything was wonderful. From the day we met we had a great chemistry (it might have been because we were born the same month). I felt like I had known him forever and he was my perfect match. When I say we got along great, we truly did. There was never a day when we didn't talk. He would call me before and after work. He never pressured me for sex, even when I slept over. He always said we could wait until the honeymoon. This man even introduced me to his parents.

EMAIL

Recently, I was looking through my email and got a message from a young woman, saying that she was looking through her boyfriend's email and found some pictures of me and him that she didn't appreciate it and was quite disturbed. She went on to say that he was her property and I should be aware of her. When I confronted him about this he didn't deny knowing her but said she was an ex, who saw him recently and started calling him. Once he told me this, I just put her in her place.

INSIST ON THE TRUTH

She later went on to say that when you meet a man ask if he has a girlfriend and insist on a truthful answer. My reply to this was that a man who gives a woman what appears to be his undivided attention, and takes her to meet his parents, wouldn't be considered suspect. She told me she doesn't believe what I'm saying because she's at his house everyday and speaks to his mom on a regular basis. I was at my wits end so, I finally, in one last message, told her that we weren't arguing about the same guy and that I do know "her boyfriend" and we're just friends. I called him that same night and started arguing about the whole thing and, while he tried to assure me that this girl is lying, I hung up the phone (which I knew he finds very disrespectful). He hasn't called me since.

SO CONFUSED

Pastor, I'm just so confused because there are so many holes in what he's telling me, compared to what she's saying. She says she's just trying to get to the bottom of things because they've been together for more than a year.

Have I done the right thing by letting go of what I thought could've been a great thing?

S. M., New York, USA

Dear S. M.,

I believe that the young woman is speaking the truth. This man you met five months ago was trying a thing, so to speak. He was trying to have you but, at the same time, he had his girlfriend. He is a liar and you have admitted that his story has "many holes". Since you hung up on him, he has not even called you back. Nor has he been to see you. If he should come back to see you, he would have to lie to you again. You will be hurt if you pursue him.

Pastor

DO YOU HAVE A PROBLEM? IS SOMETHING BOTHERING YOU? WRITE TO: TELL ME PASTOR, DR. AARON DUMAS, P.O. BOX 188, KING STREET, KINGSTON. TELEPHONE: 929-1667/8. E-MAIL: PASTOR@JAMAICASTAR.COM. OR, VISIT MY WEBSITE AT DEARPASTOR.COM