Dear Pastor,

I want to congratulate you on the wonderful work that you have been doing. Thank you for the fatherly advice that you have been giving. I am an 18-year-old female who strongly needs your help.

There is a guy who has been in love with me for the past two-and-a half years and the real problem is I am not in love with him. He can become so annoying at times and this gets me really upset.

He does not know what to say during a conversation and he really loves to judge. He calls me every night and he would send me credit even when I tell him I do not want it.

Arrogant and vulgar

The truth is he is really nagging, arrogant and vulgar and he is just not my type. He also has childish ways. We both have a male friend and he would always try to talk to us and help us to solve our problems. He would tell me to give my boyfriend a chance and I would then try to make it right by talking to him about the situation and encouraging him to change his ways. Daily, our friend and I would sit and talk about what to do to make the situation better.

Strong feelings

However, since I have been spending so much time with him, I have developed strong feelings for him. I know these feelings aren't right. About a week after having these feelings, he told me he had something to say to me, but he didn't feel to do so as yet.

Eventually he told me he had been having some feelings for me. I was so shocked when I heard. I could not utter a word.

Even though I have feelings for this friend, I don't know if I should have a relationship with him. I do not want to ruin our friendship or hurt his feelings. I need your guidance and your fatherly advice very soon.

A. B., Westmoreland, Jamaica

Dear A. B.,

First, you have a moral obligation to tell the man who calls you every day and sends you credit that you are not in love with him and that he should not consider you as his girlfriend. He may feel hurt and rejected, but that is the proper thing to do.

I am not at all surprised that this man who was supposed to be a mutual friend is now expressing his love for you. When a man and a woman see each other every day and spend quality time together, anything can happen. Please bear in mind that if you agree to become intimate with this man, the other man will say that it is because of him why you have rejected him.

The truth is, you may try to pretend that you don't like the idea of loving this man, but your heart was going "pitter-patter" for him long before he expressed his love for you. Be very careful what you do. Make sure this man does not use you.

Pastor