DO YOU HAVE A PROBLEM? IS SOMETHING BOTHERING YOU? WRITE TO: TELL ME PASTOR, DR AARON DUMAS, PO BOX 188, KING STREET, KINGSTON.

TELEPHONE: 929-1667/8. EMAIL: PASTOR@JAMAICASTAR.COM

Dear Pastor,

Good day to you, Sir. I have been following your advice column daily and now I need you to be my adviser. I am the mother of six children and a very unhappy wife. I got married not because of love, but because I thought I had suffered enough so I tried something new. Initially, my husband was unwilling to get married but I told him I was going to serve God and since we had had our first child, he agreed. Things went well for a while, I was going to church, taking care of my home, family and husband. Since we started to have more children, life began to get harder because he was the only one working. I started to do a little vending but things did not get better. Sometimes he would help me to buy stocks, but he would then murmur about me pressuring him.

Seeking comfort

When we argued, he would tell me disrespectful things in front of our children. The arguments were on- going until I started seeking comfort elsewhere. In January of last year, I met a young man, whom I felt was godsent. I did not tell him about all my children at once, but as time passed, I told him. He played a good role of taking care of me and he also gave me good advice. He has never even told his mother that I had six children or that I was married, because he wanted her to accept me because he is 24 and I am 29.

He is more of a man than my husband will ever be, but this is my problem. His fiancée filed for him. He told me all about it and also told me if I got divorced and moved out of my house he would return and we would married. Before he left for the United States, he made sure I got all his possessions. I got somewhere to live and he bought me a bed. He called me every day and promised to be true but of late, it is as if he does not want this relationship anymore.

I sent a text message to him asking him if he still loved me. He replied a day later saying I must not worry because he knew what he is doing. He asked if I had money and he sent some money for me, but I don't want his money or his promises. I need him and I am so afraid of losing him. I pray for us every night because I cannot see myself living without such a man.

Pastor, what should I do? Should I allow him to have his way or continue to believe that he will come back to me even though I am older than he is and have so many children? Please pray for me.

S.W., Westmoreland, Jamaica

Dear S. W.,

Although this 24-year-old man is away, your heart is on him and the thought of losing him bothers you. This man has his girlfriend in the USA and you are still married. He has helped you financially, but will he continue to do so? What will he do with his girlfriend?

May I suggest that you ask this man to help you start a little business that you can manage. He may never be able to marry you, but he can assist you in doing something to support yourself.

Pastor