Dear Pastor,

I have a problem and I hope you can help. I am married for 15 years. My wife and I got separated for about eight months. She put my stuff out for no reason saying I cheated on her. Ok, yes, I did in the past. While we were separated, I got in a little thing with a beautiful woman. My wife has a man whom she is sleeping with and saying it is her friend, when I know it's her man. She even brought the man to sleep in our bed when the kids were sleeping.

She is supposed to be a Christian in church. She asked me if I am seeing anyone and I said yes. I am being truthful. Now she comes and says she wants us to work things out and I said ok. I talked to my girlfriend and she understands. My wife says we have to cut all ties with our partners. I did, but she did not. She still calls him every day, visits him and does thing for him.

The first week I moved back in, she told me she has to go do his hair. This is a wrong move for someone who wants to work things out.

She works at nights. We used to talk on the phone when she was at work, at nights, but now she has stopped. She talks to this man all night.

I know this because a friend knows the man and the man tells my friend everything. I try to tell my wife what the man is saying about her, but she denies it. The man is just using her. That is what he told my friend. She hides to talk, visit and meet with him. I know this, but she still keeps saying it's her friend.

Should I stick around or move out? She is playing with my emotions and happiness. I was ok with this girl, but now I have lost out on everything. I am planning on divorcing her.

P., Ontario, Canada

Dear P.,

I accept what you have said as authentic, but the behaviour of your wife makes you look like a fool. Both of you claim that you wanted to put the past behind you and start all over.

Pastor

But she has done nothing to show that she is serious. Evidently, she is still fooling around. Perhaps she is still giving you "sticks". It seems to me that the time has come for you to see a lawyer.

Pastor