Dear Pastor,

I am a 17-year-old girl who is now living in the U.S.A. I have a problem that has been haunting me for about a year now. When I was 16 years old, I had sex with my ex-boyfriend. He always talked about making love to me and things like that. I really liked him but after a while I didn't call him anymore. So, the relationship ended.

Now, I realise what I have done and it is haunting me. I now regret every bit of it. I regret the fact that I slept with him and for being with him. Do you have any advice on how to get over these flashbacks and memories? It is killing me. Please, I am asking for your help.

N.F., Boston, U.S.A.

Dear N. F.,

You find it difficult to put this experience behind you. What happened, you cannot change, but you can determine in your mind that you would not allow any other man to toy with your body until you are married. Some girls do regret having sex at an early age. For many, it happened when they were least expecting it but they have had to learn to put what happened behind them and move on.

mistakes

Everybody makes mistakes and sometimes people pay the price of having illicit sex. Sometimes the fruit is bitter because one may sow the seed of immorality. I gather that you were not even aware that what you did with this young man will haunt you, but I beg you to pray and ask God to help you to put this experience behind you.

Thank God you didn't get pregnant and thank God you didn't get a disease. The memory is what is bothering you but give God praise that you don't have a child to take care of as a result of what happened. I will be praying for you. God bless you.

Pastor