Dear Pastor,

I am a Jamaican living in the United States of America. I read your column online every week and I think you are a blessing from God. My problem is that I have three children with a Jamaican guy and he disappeared out of our lives for eight years without a trace or contact.

Some time last year he reappeared. I took him back in to our lives because I thought my children needed to know their dad. He moved into our home; however, he started to beat me. He also doesn't allow me to go anywhere unless it is work or business. He is possessive and jealous. He stays home with the children while I have to go and work a lot.

Pastor, I have my own home and I pay my own bills. Do you think I need him in my life, or was I wrong to take him back? During the time he was away, he got married to a white girl and they have a child together in Florida. The thing is I still love him.

A. D., New Jersey, USA

Dear A. D.,

Love is the foundation of all good relationships but it is not the only criterion. You should kick this man out of your house. You made a mistake by taking him back. No woman should stay with an abuser. He is making a fool of you and you are behaving as if he is a little god. Get rid of him by throwing him out. You may need the help of an attorney.

See that he supports his children, and by that I mean take him to court for maintenance. He has life too easy. I doubt very much that his wife would tolerate his behaviour. You shouldn't.

Pastor