Dear Pastor,

I am a teacher and I have taken on the responsibility of caring for a nine-year-old girl whom I taught in grade one. She has shown where she has potential and she wasn't being cared for as I think she should. She has eight siblings and her parents showed no form of responsibility. I love her dearly and I only want what's best for her. I am not saying she's brilliant but she tries.

I have one problem with her and I have come to understand that it is normal in her family. She wets the bed and I have to allow her to sleep in diapers. She is really embarrassed by this to the point where she is afraid of me taking her to the doctor. My boyfriend thinks she is just lazy and should be scolded. I am planning to take her to the doctor this month end, but I will have to sit her down and talk to her.

Do you think I should take her even though she doesn't want to go? Her parents told me that even her 13-year-old sister still wets the bed. What should I do?

A.A., St. Catherine, Jamaica

Dear A.A.,

Some children wet bed even when they are in their middle teens and older. It is not something that they can control. It happens while they are in deep sleep. If the truth be told, many adults would admit that they wet bed for many years and even when they wanted to stop they were unable to do so.

In talking to this girl, please do so calmly and in love. Do not rough her. Tell her you know that it is a problem she is experiencing and that you are aware that she would not purposely wet the bed; therefore, you wish to take her to the doctor, so that he/she can advice both of you what can be done to minimise and eventually stop the problem. Tell your boyfriend that he should not cause this child to suffer from anxiety by scolding or cursing her. She will eventually overcome the problem; it's just a matter of time. Some children stop wetting bed when they are very young, others do so long after they become teenagers. And occasionally, adults who are not ill wet bed.

Pastor