Dear Pastor,

I am writing you because I have a problem with my husband. We've been married for 10 years and we have a 20-year age difference. The problem is that when I married him, I was young and I did not know what I liked sexually. As I got older, I wanted to try new things, like oral sex, but he is not willing to try anything new. I mean, then, I was not into things like that either, but now I am willing to experience it.

I have tried to talk to him about trying new things sexually but he just thinks I have some sort of sex problem. I just feel like we love each other and we've been married for 10 years and our lovemaking shouldn't have a limit. I mean we are both clean, faithful people, and our love is strong. But, as I am entering my thirties I am getting very curious about different sexual acts. I want to try these things with my husband because I love him very much.

I am not going to leave him over this, but I am so curious to try different things, like what we watch in an adult movie. Do you think I should just leave it alone? Or should I continue to tell him that I want to try different things in the bedroom. I don't want to turn him off and lose him, but I do want him to know how I feel. What should I do?

J. D., Florida, U.S.A.

Dear J.D.,

I am glad that you are still in love with your husband after 10 years of marriage. Your husband and you seem to have a marvellous relation-ship. But, you are seeking more excitement in the bedroom. Your husband is slow in catching on. He has noone to blame but himself because both of you have looked at certain adult movies together and these movies have shown you what can enhance and excite lovemaking. Now that you are asking him to do them to you, he is reluctant.

Your good husband is from the 'old school'. He doesn't mind looking at certain movies with you but he is not yet ready to test what he has seen. Try your best not to push him. After all, you know that not everybody is comfortable in doing certain things, including oral sex. You can do many other things apart from oral sex that can excite him and take him to the 'max'. Yes, sister, many other things can make the 'old man' bawl.

Pastor