Tell Me Pastor

Burden!

Dear Pastor,

I have a problem that has been going on for over ten years and I have no one to turn to but you. My sister went to live with her cousin abroad and left her son in my care. It is getting overwhelming because they do not have proper documentation to stay in the country. So wherever they get a job, it is just enough to feed them.

I have been taking care of her child and also the cousin's child for that long. I really don't have time for myself and it is getting frustrating, especially when I send and ask them for money.

Why would they want to live in another country and live worse than how they use to live in their own? To me the best thing to do is to return to their home if things aren't working out for that long. My brother and his girlfriend went to join them. My mother is there as well looking after the elders but they are still suffering. Basically half of my family is away and none of them has any idea which way the road is.

Pastor, I am trying not to be selfish but I cannot take the burden anymore. Sending me pocket change now and then is not enough. I do believe that the mothers need to make a decision and find a way to take whatever responsibility is left for the children's sake.

Please tell me what to do.

J., St. Catherine,

Dear J.,

Continue to do your best for the children but keep a record of the money you spend on them. Whatever you buy for them, keep the bills and keep a diary. This will help you to prove to their parents what you have done for the children. You should let them know that they will have to reimburse you for what you have spent on their children.

You should also make arrangements with their parents how much money you need to care for the children per week. Keep a record of what they send. Sometimes relatives take advantage of each other. See that nobody takes advantage of you.

Ask other relatives to assist you with the kids so that you can get a break sometimes.

Pastor